Wednesday, March 18, 2009

A New Career?

Someday I'll have to, you know, earn some money.
The idea of having a career in the future is intriguing, however, at 32 I STILL don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
Today, I had a glimpse of what could be my potential future career: school counselor.

Um, not really.
I think you have to really, REALLY like kids to make that career work.
I sometimes hide from my own kid. (She says in a small voice)
I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure you can't do that when you're a school counselor.

My once weekly lunch date with Caroline (and the rest of Mrs. Evans' first grade class) has somehow morphed into a twice weekly affair. Caroline can rock the sad face, thus causing me to melt into her dirty little hands. Because of my undying devotion to this kid of mine, I begrudgingly happily leave my Body Pump class early on Wednesdays to quickly shower and make it to the cafeteria 'o loud obnoxiousness by 11 am.

Upon arrival today, I was greeted by Caroline and the rest of her table, happily tattling alerting me that Caroline was teasing E with grapes.
Huh?!
Is teasing with a grape considered a punishable offense?
Confused, I sat down between Caroline and E, who was in tears.
Surprised at the thought that Miss Goody Two Shoes Caroline was guilty of making E cry with all of her mean spirited grape taunting, I donned my very best disappointed face and proceded to chastise that terrible kid of mine.
Come to find out, while Caroline was indeed playfully waving grapes in E's face, as all the kids do, E's distress was more deeply rooted. Caroline's grape-in-the-face behavior (which IS annoying) just exacerbated E's meltdown.

You see, her mom packed grapes in her lunch.
And two Girl Scout lemon sandwich cookies.
Her favorite.

I inquired about the tears, only to find out that the grapes her dad bought looked "dead" and she didn't want to eat them. But, if she didn't eat them, she couldn't eat her cookies.
Yesterday she only ate two grapes, leaving the rest in her lunch box.
But she ate her cookies.
Needless to say, her mom wasn't happy.
No fruit. No cookies.
E's mom let her off with a gentle pass, warning her to eat her grapes the next day or no cookies.

E tried a grape and wasn't impressed.
I encouraged her to try another; some grapes are good and some are not. After all, she might be surprised and actually like the remaining grapes.
I offered to eat a grape to see if they were sour or "dead" as she described them.
She obliged and wasn't impressed that I found them to be very tasty and very much alive. Green grapes can be sour, but the one I tried wasn't.
She pointed out all the blemishes and brown stems. I suggested she remove the two suspect looking grapes from the bunch and try the ones that weren't bruised.
She ate one with trepidation.
She didn't gag, make a sour face or barf.

Success?

Why yes.
I we achieved grape success.

E finished her bunch of grapes and contentedly ate her lemon cookies, savoring the creamy filling.
All the while I applauded my mad encouragement skills. I might not be able to solve calculus problems but I can talk a poor first grader down from her ledge. Stem? Vine?

If this were Caroline I would have exasperatedly rolled my eyes and told her to suck it up; you can't do that with other people's kids.
Besides, this is an unlikely scenario in our house.
Caroline, much like her pragmatic mother, doesn't have time to cry over grapes.
She has very little patience for emotional breakdowns over food; she's too busy shoveling her meal in her face as fast as humanly possible.
Again, much like her mother. ;)

That's not to say that she doesn't have any melt downs of her own.
Believe me, she does.

However, when food is involved, she's all business.

It's all about priorities.

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