Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I Think I'm In Love With An Appliance

Yes, I know idolatry is wrong.
And really, with the exception of food, television, exercise and shopping, I don't even have any idols.
I also realize that being in love with an inanimate object is wrong. And strange.
But I can't help it.

I have found my housekeeping soul mate; my dedicated partner in the care and up keep of our hardwood floors. My floors that are unapologetically dirt, debris and miscellaneous food crumble magnets.

Do you know how often I sweep?

I have a perpetual pile of collected sweeplings (I just made that up) in the corner of my kitchen because I'm always sweeping. I don't get the dust pan out every time I sweep, because, well, I'm just too lazy. I figure I'll be sweeping again in 20 minutes, so why bother.

Either we're all incredibly messy or I'm just unlucky in the flooring department. Or perhaps I'm doing it wrong. Sweeping is somewhat self explanatory, so I highly doubt I'm sweeping wrong.

I shant complain too much, because my floor care woes were much more woeful in Georgia, due to the hospital tile flooring our house was sporting. Ugh! That stuff was ug-lay. And SO incredibly difficult to keep clean. Never mind the fact that our backyard was a sand pit and every hoodlum child in the neighborhood took the "My house is your house" sentiment to heart. Water breaks, bathroom breaks, snack breaks, dump sandy shoes out on my floor breaks.

So much sand.
So much sweeping.

The institutional tile look was very sad and unwelcoming. It was in fact just like the stuff they had in the hospital. Trust me, I know of what I speak.
Last May, I took a bit of a spill in the living room. Wearing only my socks (well, not ONLY my socks, that would be creepy), I was bringing Caroline her breakfast and somehow managed to lose my footing and slip. I tried very hard to both protect myself from a big owie and keep Kix, milk and bananas from flying all over.

I failed miserably on both accounts.
The breakfast flew everywhere and I landed smack dab on my knee caps.

As I've learned, when you land on your knee caps, you not only get a big bruise but the back of your knee hurts like crazy and gets painfully stiff. I went to the doctor a few days after the fall to see if I did anything structurally damaging. The good news is that I didn't, although bending my knee and getting out of a car was painful for a few months after.

This is so not the point to my story. The point is, the NP I saw was asking all sorts of questions, as they're apt to do, and happened to ask me what kind of flooring we had. I looked down at the floor in the exam room and said, "well, it looks like the same tile here at the hospital."

Military housing can be so charming.

So anyway, yesterday I went to Target to get Caroline's teacher an end of the year gift. While perusing the kitchen doodad aisle, looking for a microplane to zest lemons (for me, not Mrs. Evans) I happened upon this beauty on the clearance end cap display. 50% off!

Behold the Dirt Devil Kruz

I realize the picture makes it look spacey, alien-like, but I don't care. It's awesome. It's like a big Dustbuster on a stick (with wheels!).

Good bye sweeping. Hello sucking.

I'm in love.


nancy said...

Um, I hope the two of you will be very happy.
Does this make you an adultress? (Craig needs to weigh in on this.)
Today is Cupcake Day!

Sissy said...

I am totally in love with my vacuum as well...we have a Meile vacuum that has a head designed for hard floors and it sucks up soooo well. It is shiny and red and cute, too! What more could a girl want in a vacuum, really? Well, except for one that could run itself and those kind of creep me out.